Today I choose not to fear.

As the hours crept by in the day, my stomach kept tying up in knots because I knew I would have to come write this blog tonight. First, I worried because I am not really sure of the direction that this is going yet. Then, I worried because I have a baby now and can never tell how my day will go anymore. I also worried because I am afraid I won't follow through with this. The fear of failure often sneaks up and surprises me when I least expect it. This time, it's because I don't have control and because I feel inferior in this area of my life. Of course, this would be exactly why the Lord has set my feet on this path. As soon as I opened my Bible to read Deuteronomy 1, I was instantly at peace while sitting in His presence and listening to Him speak to me about what I would write.  And interestingly enough, fear creeped across the pages of my Bible so that we could focus on it first. This is the point where I introduce the part of my blog that is called "choose your own adventure." Right now you can open up a Bible or click on this link here to read Deuteronomy 1 before joining me for the rest of this study. Or you can just continue to read the blog.

The book of Deuteronomy is the final review before the test. Moses gets one last opportunity to teach the grown children who have received little instruction from their parents and grandparents who have now all passed away in the desert. They don't know much about their history because they were not around to see any of it firsthand yet are about to play the vital role in securing their future. Let this journey through Deuteronomy be a reminder to ourselves of where we've been but more importantly, of where we are going. Let it catapult us each into our own promised land. Take a moment and think on that. Is there somewhere you'd like to go with God that you have not stepped out into yet? What is it that has been holding you back?

God told them in verse 6, "You have stayed long enough at this mountain." Is today the day I will hear this truth and finally be brave enough to listen? I have overstayed my welcome at Mount Unhealthy and it's time to move on into the place God has promised will be good for me. But, like the Israelites, it's easier to continue on rather than venture out into the unknown. But God knows it's scary so He follows this command in verse 8 saying "See, I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land that he swore He would give to your fathers - to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - and to their descendants after them." So, I can go in and take possession of a new dwelling place? It is right there for the taking? It belongs to me already? I just have to step out and claim it? That should be enough to motivate me. I can CHOOSE life now and leave my old ways behind. However, it isn't always that easy. They weren't quite ready to leave the past behind. They decided to send spies to check out the new land first. These spies verified it by bringing back good fruit and reporting in verse 25, "it is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us." I'd like to imagine the spies I have sent into my promised land are all of the little glimpses I have gotten when I have jumped in and tried a new fad diet or healthy routine.  I have had times in my life where I found temporary success and actually have seen what it's like to enter the land. But then I went back. Which leads us to verse 26 that uses words such as 'unwilling', 'rebelled' and 'grumbled' to describe the Israelites response to taking over the land. EVEN AFTER seeing the good fruit they still were afraid to take possession of that which the Lord was holding out before them. They also mention the people who are bigger and taller that they will have to fight along the way.  Moses jumps in and tells them "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." Still they did not trust God. Still, I do not trust God to help me along my path. So they end up stuck. So, I end up stuck. 

But guess who doesn't like to let us stay stuck? He will send people, circumstances and unlimited chances to remind us that we don't have to stay stuck forever. The God I know never leaves nor forsakes us. I know He has always been with me and is constantly encouraging me not to give up, not to choose death, not to fear. Romans 8:31 reminds us that "If God is for us, who can be against us?" I may feel stuck but I'm just one choice away from moving toward being unstuck. So today I worked out at the YMCA. I also stayed on my Whole 30 eating plan. I am not allowed to eat bread but when I opened my Bible I ate from the Bread of Life and was filled in a way that can only be done by God.

Father, thank you for letting me eat of Your Word tonight and for allowing me to be filled. I am so grateful that You are always there waiting for me and I'm sorry for the moments I leave you waiting while trying to figure things out on my own. Help me surrender the control to You because You're really the One whose good at it in the first place. As I give you control, help me not to be afraid of where You may lead me and instead trust You for every little baby step along the way.  Amen

Now Choose Life