The first time I ran a 5k I did it because I wanted to do something I thought I was never able to do before. I was so scared, though. I was scared about running by myself. I was scared about being the last to finish. I was scared about what people would think watching me run. I was scared to have to quit and not make it to the finish line. And then my Dad stepped in and said he'd run with me at the last minute. To be honest, I'm not sure if I would have really gone through with it without him. I can still remember the feeling of going around that last corner of the run. I realized, I really could do it. But it took his encouragement the whole way to even get me that far. I felt so victorious. The second time I signed up for a 5K was because I was working out before my wedding and wanted that sense of accomplishment again. I felt much more confident because I had done it once before. I knew what to expect, having one 5K under my belt already. I got a little nervous the day of the race, but I had my husband-to-be running by my side. I felt on top of the world. I thrived from Paul's encouragement along the way but I didn't need him saying as much this time around - just having him with me was enough. It was still hard but definitely easier than the first time. I know the day will come when I will run a 5K again and although it makes me nervous thinking about it right now, I have every bit of confidence that I will be able to do it because of my previous experiences. We can all choose to have this same confidence in any circumstance if we remember where that confidence really comes from. Please open your bible to read Deuteronomy 3 or just click here.
The Israelites have just finished destroying one nation and God then moves them up the road and they run into the entire Army of Bashan and the King of Og. But God says not to be afraid for "I have handed him over to you with his whole army and his land. Do to him what you did to Sihon, king of the Amorites, who reigned in Heshbon." The thing I love about this, is God doesn't just say, "destroy this nation." He says to "do what you did to Sihon." It's as if He is pointing out, you did it once and you can do it again. We are reminded that God is our number one cheerleader (minus the pigtails and pom poms). He truly believes in us and wants to encourage us. When we see that mountain that seem too big, He will bring to mind the mountain we already went over. A word from the Lord to "go" was all they needed this time to move. I wonder, if that reminder of their earlier victory could have helped build their confidence, even just a little, as they headed into the next battle.
We also read that they took ALL of the cities. They remembered how important it was not to leave any survivors. There is actually much detail about these cities..."all these cities were fortified with high walls and with gates and bars and there were also a great many unwalled villages." Some may have been easier since they were not as heavily guarded as others. I feel like we are catching a glimpse of our strongholds here. Some areas of our lives we can be very vulnerable about and are much more willing to budge on, while others are so heavily protected that it will only take a mighty work of God to tear down. I can give up not drinking pop because it's honestly not something I have ever really needed or cared for that much. However, my emotional eating issue probably has been barricaded with every chocolate bar you could think of. Recently, Paul was running up to get a late night treat for me and I knew I just had to have some chocolate but NOTHING sounded good to me. That's always my first sign that I have hit a hard place and is usually the beginning of my next new diet. So, like every good emotional eater, I still had to have something so I googled "best chocolate bars" and learned about a Sky Bar for the first time. Four candy bars in one! Why had I never heard of this before? And why doesn't the gas station carry them? And why do I have to be on this journey to healthy living when I have never been able to try this candy bar yet and will not be able to for a very long time now? This story is loaded with all sorts of issues I won't even begin to get into yet but I will just say, emotional eating has been a very good, bad friend to me for a long time.
However, when God says move, we move. In Deuteronomy 3, we read all about every city that is taken over and destroyed. God's people who had been so afraid that they had to send other people out to test the waters first, are confidently going forward and possessing the land. Even destroying the last descendants of the giants. I feel this is a very crucial detail that we need to ponder for a moment. The Rephaites we read about in verse 13 were actually giants. Argob in Bashan had been full of GIANTS. Do you realize how powerful that point is to someone who feels like she is wrestling with giants every day? God gives us commands but He also does everything He can to make us feel confident enough to realize we can truly do all things through Him who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13). Who am I to question His power? Who am I to question His ability to work in and through me. When we are walking in the confidence of the Lord we are able to tear down fortified cities and giants because our confidence is not in ourselves but in God's power. Jeremiah 17:7 says that "But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him." We are blessed when we walk in His confidence and we are victorious.
In fact, we read next how they are able to begin to bless others and give the land away. The Israelites start to divide up the land and explain the procedures. The men have to keep fighting and will then be able to return to the women and children after all the land that was promised by God has been possessed. They have not even crossed over the Jordan yet but are kind of on the outskirts of the land they are moving forward to possess. Here we learn that those two battles they just fought and won are only a small part of a larger war. This is going to take some time. But that's okay because, as we read in verse 22, "God is fighting for you." We can have confidence in knowing that God is fighting for us. No matter the size of the mountain or battle, God is fighting for us.
In the end of this chapter, Moses praises God and asks if he can be permitted to cross over the Jordan and into Canaan. God says to speak no more of this matter but instead to go to the top of the mountain and "look at the land with your own eyes since you are not going to cross this Jordan." Moses's request to God just breaks my heart. It makes me so sad for him. God allows him to see it, but for different reasons we will never fully understand, God does not grant Moses's request. But it is a reminder that some people leave this world without ever fully crossing over into their promised land. If I were to die today, I would honestly say I have made it to the outskirts at different times in my life, and have caught a glimpse with my eyes of what it looks like, but have never fully set foot on my Canaan. That doesn't mean I haven't experienced all of the great things of God. I have been overcome daily by His incredible blessings. However, it does mean there was more for the taking.
Father, I want more. Give me the confidence to walk in Your ways, trusting You every step of the way. Thank you for the walls you have been tearing down, but help me to surrender every area of my life to You so that I can experience even more of all that You have for me. Forgive me for sometimes choosing what I want over what You want. I yield my life to You. Amen.
Now Choose Life.
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